This text was originally published in English on the It’s Complicated blog.
Willa Blith Baker
“The body possesses its own non-conceptual intelligence, which is so often overlooked or undervalued in the face of cognitive intelligence. The body knows when it is hungry, when it needs to move, and what it needs to thrive. It conveys wisdom that comes from the feeling and experience of the present moment. When we lose touch with the body, we lose our connection to truths that disembodied cognition alone cannot access.”
Understanding and listening to our own bodies is crucial for a healthy life – a life that is present and grounded in our individual experiences, in our relationships, and in our existence on this planet. Amidst the stresses of daily life, challenging situations, life transitions and moments of crisis, we often feel disconnected from our emotions and become sceptical of physical symptoms. We spend most of our time in our minds and try to steer our lives from there.
When we listen to our bodies, we can (re)connect with our vitality and (re)discover it, which leads to greater stability and a zest for life, whilst reducing anxiety, depression and exhaustion. It enables us to anchor our experiences in physical sensations, strengthen our connection to who we are, and create a secure foundation we can rely on in difficult times and situations.
Body, Mind and Soul
As human beings, we are both body and mind. Our culture gives priority to the mind and intellect over the body, and places cognition above perception and somatic awareness. Yet it is only by feeling our bodies that we come alive and perceive the world around us. Everything we experience unfolds within our bodies. The mental and the physical are always inextricably linked. Emotions, actions and thoughts are all specific processes that take place within our bodies. When we learn to make sense of our bodily experience, we can feel at home in our bodies and in our lives.
We have all learnt not to listen to our bodies. We are used to listening primarily to our thoughts, so that we are ‘in our heads’ and have little sense of what is happening below our necks. Our mind often convinces us that something else is more important. Or what our body is telling us simply doesn’t fit in with our plans. Or we have an idea of what we ought to be experiencing, regardless of whether it has anything to do with what we are actually experiencing. We don’t want to be ill. We put off going to sleep when we’re tired, ignore our thirst and don’t breathe as deeply as we need to when we’re feeling intense emotions. We push on when we actually need a break. We shut ourselves off and isolate ourselves when we actually need a chat with a good friend. Listening properly takes a bit of practice!
Listening to your body means learning:
- to ground ourselves more firmly in the here and now, to lose ourselves less in the future or get stuck in the past. Physical awareness, feeling and thinking enable us to recognise what our truth is in a given moment, regardless of what our mind has to say about it. We cannot simply think that we are grounded; we must feel it in our bodies.
- Finding the words to describe your experiences and feelings in physical terms. This exercise transforms overwhelming experiences into a somatic process. Instead of getting lost in an incomprehensible emotional state, you learn to pay attention to physical sensations such as a tense neck, shallow breathing, tense shoulders and a tight stomach. This step alone often reduces the intensity of overwhelming feelings. It also enables you to speak more precisely about your experiences, feelings and needs.
- Feeling your feelings – be present with them and experience their energy and the waves of sensations they create in your body, without reacting to them automatically. We cannot think our way through an emotion; we have to feel our feelings. This step builds trust, as it enables you to stay with yourself and support yourself even in the midst of chaotic emotions.
- Discover the deeper dimensions of your emotional experience. In everyday life, we often only have access to certain aspects of our emotional world. Through the body, we gain access to more facets of an experience and develop a deep sense of our intuition, enabling us to understand its impact on our actions and our lives.
- Not being at the mercy of your feelings and experiences. Realising that feelings are a series of physical sensations makes it clear that they are involuntary AND that we can influence them. You can tense up or relax, hold your breath or keep breathing, tense or relax your muscles, stand still or move – and just like that, something can change.
How to listen to your body
Listening to your own body is often counterintuitive. We usually try to avoid unpleasant sensations – or simply intense sensations – and steer clear of experiences we don’t like. Listening to your body means turning your attention to precisely these experiences and the physical sensations they trigger, staying with them and approaching them with curiosity.
Listening to your own body does not mean doing more yoga or exercise, eating better or going for a daily walk. It is not a tool; it is a principle. It is a state in which we tune into our sensations and feelings – a state in which we allow our body to teach our mind. It is an ongoing, lifelong practice that permeates everything we do. Listening to the body changes and deepens over time, as you change and your life experience deepens.
Listening to your body means being attuned to its unique language: your sensations. To be able to listen, we need to ‘shut up’, turn down the volume of our constant stream of thoughts; we need to slow down and pay attention to the experience within and through our bodies, letting go of our thinking mind and sinking into our sensing, feeling body. Many people find it helpful to focus on their breathing to connect with their somatic experience. Others need movement or touch to better recognise what they are sensing in their body.
Some people don’t feel confident enough to listen to their bodies
If your body has stored traumatic experiences, if you are in the midst of coming to terms with a profound loss, in moments of crisis, or if you are plagued by severe anxiety symptoms or chronic pain, it can be a challenge to listen to your body and actually feel safe. Body psychotherapy, somatic coaching, trauma-sensitive bodywork and other embodiment practices can help you, with support, reconnect with your body, understand its signals and build trust in its sensations and movements, which our minds often cannot comprehend. Seek help if you need it!
Even if you have a health condition, it can be a challenge to listen to your body. HERE is a lovely conversation from the On Being podcast about how to listen to your body when it is paralysed.
Summary
Listening to one’s own body allows for greater flexibility, as it broadens the scope for action in the face of intense experiences. It is about the ability to consciously replace a reaction of withdrawal with one of openness. This is not always easy, nor is it always possible. It is a practice and an art.
Constant withdrawal, over time, creates a state of physical weakness and instability. A constricted body narrows our perception and our thinking. Opening up to sensations fosters sensitivity, strength and compassion. A receptive body promotes open perception and creative thinking. From there, we are best placed to decide what our next steps should be.
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Sources and resources
Paul Linden, Embodied Peacemaking: Body Awareness, Self-Regulation and Conflict Resolution, 2007
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, *It’s Not Always Depression: A New Theory of Listening to Your Body, Discovering Core Emotions and Reconnecting with Your Authentic Self*, 2018
Bessel van der Kolk, *The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma*, 2014
Steve Haines, Touch is really strange, 2021
Willa Blyth Baker, *The Science of Embodiment: Connect to Your Body’s Wisdom*, 2023
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