I’ve always loved moving to music. For many of us, it comes naturally – music moves us, whether physically or emotionally. But for me, it wasn’t always easy. For years I struggled with my body image and felt ‘out of place’ in jazz dance classes (I always went left when everyone else went right!), which led me to give up dancing altogether. The same thing happened with singing: I used to love it, but after a friend told me, ‘You’re humming’, I stopped.
It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that I began to rediscover music and movement for myself. A major part of this was down to singing lessons with the wonderful Veronika Böhle and training in ‘Stopping Movement’ with Anna Krimerman, Emily Poel and Merav Gur Arie – a practice in which you establish a simple ‘framework’ for each song:
- which parts of the body you will be moving,
- at what speed (slow/medium/fast),
- and in what size (small/medium/large).
It can be as simple as “move your arms and legs, at a moderate pace, with large movements” – or as quirky as “move your left eye, your right hip, your knees and your left toes, quickly and in small movements”. This playful exercise helped me regain my body awareness, my concentration and my sense of freedom.
Nowadays, I often share a special tool with my clients: the emotion regulation playlist.
Riding the waves: The playlist
Music has a unique way of shaping our inner world. It can bring back forgotten memories, deepen emotions and change how we feel in the moment. But when we’re feeling overwhelmed or down, it’s not always easy to choose the ‘right’ song. Sometimes a cheerful tune can even make us feel worse.
That’s why creating a playlist for emotional regulation is so effective: rather than forcing a mood, the playlist helps you ride the waves of emotion – whether that means crying, letting go of anger, feeling joy, or simply reminding yourself what it feels like to be human.
What is an emotion regulation playlist?
An emotional regulation playlist is a sequence of songs designed to provide you with emotional support. You start with music that reflects your current state – whether it’s sadness, restlessness or anger – and then gradually move on to songs that help you find balance, calm or vitality.
Think of it as a bridge: You don’t have to jump from despair to joy in a single track. The music acknowledges where you are right now, and then gently guides you, step by step, to where you’d like to be.
And you don’t just have to sit there and listen – movement can deepen the effect. Music plus movement can release tension, break repetitive patterns and create space for new states of being.
How AEDP shapes the playlist
From the perspective of AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), emotional regulation is not about ‘getting rid of’ difficult feelings. It is about treating yourself with compassion and allowing emotions to transform.
Here’s how you can put together your playlist with this in mind:
1. Start with radical acceptance
◦ Choose songs that match your current feelings. Are you heartbroken? Start with longing or grief.
◦ Pay attention to what is happening in your body – tightness in the chest, heaviness in the stomach, restless legs. Try moving gently to the music; simply follow your body without judgement.
2. Allow for emotional depth
◦ As you listen, notice whether emotions intensify – more sadness, anger or letting go. AEDP reminds us that fully experiencing emotions opens the door to healing.
◦ Move to the music: let your body find freedom, vitality, flexibility or grounding – beat by beat.
3. Move towards transformation
◦ Gradually add songs that convey hope, strength or tenderness. This reflects AEDP’s path from suffering towards calm, clarity and connection.
◦ Allow your posture to change too – perhaps from a hunched posture to a more open one, from swaying to freer dancing.
Steps for creating your playlist
- Identify how you’re feeling right now. Be honest: anxious, lonely, angry, numb.
- Choose suitable songs. Start with music that reflects your feelings.
- Arrange for gradual transitions. Move from heavier tracks to lighter, calmer or more energetic ones.
- Finish by visualising your desired state. Grounded, peaceful, motivated, cheerful – whatever you’d like to feel more of.
- Involve your body. As you listen, be mindful of your breathing, your posture and your movements. Let your body move with the music.
Make it your own
There are no wrong songs. Your playlist can consist of five or twenty tracks. You can change it every week. The only rule is curiosity and empathy: be aware of what you’re feeling, and then let the music and movement gently carry you towards something new.
Final thoughts
Both AEDP and body-based practices remind us that regulation is not about forcing change, but about trusting that the body and mind possess a natural ability to change – provided they receive the right support.
An emotional regulation playlist offers just such support: it acknowledges your current state, invites transformation and involves your body in the process.
So the next time you feel stuck, overwhelmed or listless – press ‘Play’. Not to escape your emotions, but to embark on a journey with them.
Have fun!
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